yea so...anywhoo

I must be funneling all my anger and frustrations at life to a certain person. I've just been so grumpy and bitchy with/about them. Granted the other day i felt i had free rein to be cuz they were being overly sarcastic but i feel its an unhealthy amount of grump-ness i feel towards them... :/

school is intense. they might be cutting the program, granted it will be a phasing out so it wouldn't directly affect me, i dont want to be the last through and it would change the vibes with staff and such. Many of them were visibly distraught last week.

In general i feel my fishbowl is back...im social but no close relationships of any kind to keep me sane. Ba-humbug a month early!!

Why did i get myself involved in a group that is so unorganized? really i shouldve known better but still got involved. Now im financially committed to following through and suffering the rest of the year. Granted its a good group of people but there is no structure to this club so things are always left hanging in the breeze, or ignored or not thought about until days before a deadline...

If there weren't other personal relationships mixed in i would walk away being a bitch and leave them without a team rider...but alas life is not that simple :(

School is so very tough this semester, i got a 81% on a midterm and was devestated, granted it's prolly the best i've done on an exam yet but when 75% is failing things must be 110% :(

I'm being a grump but am settling down by studying, how lame am i?

( miss these days... )

This is forced enthusiasm...not that i hate IDA but the show was basically on the worst weekend ever! I had a huge physiology exam on monday and hosting a show and showing was not flying well with my study habits. For example getting up at 4:30am and running around like a chicken(or penguin, that's the general impression of my run/shuffle) with its head cut off until about 8pm is no fun!!

Coming into the weekend we had plenty of horses planned for but everything fell apart come friday...so basically we only had like 4 groups of horses, so horses were being used back to back and there were quite a few older guys i felt so bad for!! Either they were getting so hot with winter coats and/or not being fit enough, let alone being ridden for so long :(

( photos under here... )

I watched my best friend's pack of dogs while she went out of the country for a week on a tropical island(not jealous at all...) and ended up buying their last puppy who is in the process of recovering from a broken leg...sucker must be written on my forehead...

His name is Ditto, just over 3months and is the total opposite of what i wanted...hence another golden and another male, but i am determined to socialize him to the hilt and we WILL have manners(and not go crazy over OMG a person, give me attention!!).

Will post more later but have to get things around for a small family dinner and then parade and fireworks later, this might be a bad night for pups too :/ but we're being social!! haha poor dog he is going to get dragged just about everywhere with me

Local dressage schooling show, where we took a few green horses and riders out. Everyone was stellar and I got to groom in the rain!! Good group of people...im looking forwards to summer!
( few pictures back here... )
ps. Stuart is for sale and i love my camera, just need a bigger lens then the dinky little 14-42mm

I need to vent...why oh why are their group projects in college? It makes no sense! Or at least it should have some type of survior structure and the group gets the power to vote ppl off! :)

No really i have a group for my silly little speech class and its fairly large, 6 people, well 4 of us have been kicking ass, well the other two, we rarely hear from and when we do its all like "we work so hard, this is gonna go great!, just let me know what i can do!"---woah stop right there, you want us to deligate something else besides a dinky little intro or conclusion and hold your hand so you get it to us on time?

Ugh so frusterating, its like we're 12 again. Maybe its just the fact that its not high school and we dont see each other everyday but still you're a part of a group, do your part!! (and not at midnight the night before the presentation!)

Just watched the first 10min of southland, the supposed spinoff or replacement to ER, wow it was so bad we changed channels!! Why would you have a primetime show that bleeps, its written in the script, totally pointless and unneeded. Camera work was also sucky for what i saw, overexposed and i dont know crap about that kind of stuff!!

news on my soap opera, we talked face to face over coffee and are all better, we both flamed got pissed and we're good now. Im such a worrier, heck i freaked out the other day before this was all sorted out becuase i thought someone else got mad at me so i imediately apologized like ten times, it turns out they were just on the phone, so i guess i'm still kinda a wreck :/

( a really long soap opera, you've been warned! )
Positives/things that need to get done/other stressors in life:

-got into vet tech program, day after soap opera went down, heard said friend got in too, im happy but just not feeling it with this all happening
-my dinky little federal sub. loan was just changed to unsub. F!!! WTF?! still in process of figuring that one out, only got the loan cuz it was sub. and hey more money to put towards MSU in future, right?
-got $1,100 est on things my car needs done to it, plus a few other things i know need to be worked on, putting this on the bottom of to do list...
-need to get apps out to vet clinics, hoping to get a summer position doing entry level stuff to get my foot in the door of this career
-need to do stellar for the last part of this semester, gotta keep those grades high! or as high as theyre gonna go!!
-puppy dilemma is still wrestling in my mind...gah, lets just leave it at whatever happens, happens!
-been playing nurse to mother, i dont really enjoy it, but i should be done now...shes chatty as ever again so i'd say we're able to take care of ourselves?

sorry it was sooo freaking long!!! cookies and lollipops to anyone who reads my ramblings :)
just needed to vent, thanks for lis...reading?

( my life... )
On a random note, im totally buying Slumdog Millionaire tomorrow...soundtrack just came on the radio...hehe

its surprising how good you feel after you break down and admit to a friend that you feel like shit, feel totally lost and everything else that probably could be thrown under the definition of depressed...

...now to deal with it, ick!

I feel like such a little kid...the USDF 2008 Yearbook came today and i ripped through it just to find the picture of the yak and i ;)

Granted it made me sad because i cant go out and give a big hug but at least i can say i put in two years to get to this point and dont have any regrets!( Kodiak aka the yak )
This is the first and probably only time I will accomplish something to this level, so i deserve a little bragging! ;D

I know i know i need to get over this but i miss him...

plus for some reason i love this picture, could crop my ass out though lol :)

I rode in a clinic with Lendon Gray last year and loved it. Sure the horse and i were tense as all get out including spooking at everything but it was such a good experience. So now im on their mailing list and just received an email about applying for clinics this year...so i look and its steffen peters and george williams!!! And both are taking riders that are around first and second level, but my only issue is i dont have a horse...lol.

hmm...maybe ill have to pull out the video from last year to get my fix =)

I'm so excited, just submitted my vet tech app to msu!! only thing thats missing is transcripts, which isnt a huge deal and lcc finally processed them...gah annoying college that everyone wants to shoot!! lol

So now that stressor is out of the way, i need to work on filling out a fafsa for this year and trying to figure out if i can get any scholarships through lcc or msu and if any of them would even be available since im technically not going to be a msu student...blahh!!
( EXCITING NEWS!!!! )
I'm looking to buy a digital SLR, might go with the olympus e-410, local camera shop had one refurbished and i liked how small it was, also can get them cheaper online...so yea any suggestions out there would be great!! I need to get a move on this too, cuz im taking a photography class this semester!! whoops, haha :)

So no one ever thinks that working with animals is ever dangerous or at least its not an immediate danger, especially companion animals. I hate when i have an encounter with these past predators that are still able to tear me limb from limb if so desired and then co-workers/managers dont take it serious enough to alert even higher ranked people that have the authority and know how to properly deal with the situation.

( So the complete story... )
so now i get to go back to work, get over my gitters of being in a locked room with a pissed off german shepard, and figure out what exactly happened and maybe if im brave give them a piece of my mind!!

So is it possible for stress to suddenly affect you differently?
( read my random thoughts...:) )

( ranting... )

I am almost to the point where i dont want to be riding anymore. The horse is great, it's just ive lost ....i guess the passion and motivation to ride. ( continuation of my stupid ramblings... )

mostly i think im missing the yak...and am just stressed about the next two months, just need to get my 80hrs of vet observation in and submit my app to MSU vet tech prog.

EDIT: huge foot now firmly shoved in mouth, i think its just gonna be me learning how to buck it up and handle it

I think i need to find a chiro, a new one that will actually help. The only reservation i have is that my issue is in my neck, like first vertebrate or something...falling on your head sucks!!

( rant under the cut )

ps. new little pony got his feet trimmed!! so exciting he actually sounds like a horse walking down the aisle instead of the crazy hitting the ground twice cuz he couldnt break over his toe thing...you had to hear and see it to understand... Everyone has a different opinion on what happened to his leg, the xrays are clean, feet in shape, lets just hope there wasnt any permanent damange done and he can go sound!!

Rico is feeling amazing!! we did a ton of lateral work and surprisingly i didnt tie myself into a pretzel like normal, then trainer thought we should end on something fun....canter pirouette!! First i did like a 5 or 10m circle, she was no! way too big, uh ok, sit back and turn, sweetness!! i felt like i wanted to lean forwards, maybe to help him? haha idk, it was a sweet feeling.

at the moment i have no plans for halloween, but am in "the planning vat" according to matt, so msu might be a possibility?! haha im pumped but scared cuz im a low key kinda person. wont be too much of a wild night especially if i have to muck in the morn before trainer and i hit the road to OH again....dropping issac off at his new home and trainer found a steal of a horse (hopefully) just an hour from there.